Monday, Monday

Today is so lovely. The first thing this morning I took Maxine and we went for a long ride around the neighborhood. It amazes me that my parents moved here in 1974 and I started visiting them at least twice a year. Then I moved here full time in March of 1991. In July of 1992 I moved to this home. Yet, each time I go into the neighborhood I discover something new that I never noticed before. Everything seems to be ever changing and evovling. I'm a little sadden to think the new condo community that is being built will double our population practically over night. We'll be going from about 250 residents to over 500!! I know that might sound small, but to us it's huge.

My journaling class only gets better and better. I am going deep within and pulling out stuff long forgotten. That can be very refreshing as most of it is good stuff. Perhaps if I do this long enough, the good will replace the bad experiences I've had along my path.
I finished The Secret Lives of Bees. I think the book must have been put in my screen at this time as it speaks to my class. The journey that Lily makes in the book is one most of us never have to make. But I strongly believe each of us has to find the inner strength to continue on our way (travels).

Cruzer was very happy with his Father's Day gifts. He heard from both of his sons, but nothing from his daughter. She still hasn't bothered telling him her new address, phone number, etc. What angers me about it all is I know it hurts him and I have no control. His grandson won't even know him and it isn't right. I know, I know. This is something that needs to be accepted and move forward. But each time I see him aching because of how she treats him - even if it is non-contact, I can't seem to let it go. I tried getting to know her and encouraged their contact when we were first married. But the first birthday she didn't acknowledge him hurt him so bad. Then she started taking "my mother this" and "my mother that" and didn't say she even had a father in her posts to our group. Finally when she moved two years ago and didn't tell him her info, I drew my own line. I'll never reject her if she comes back into our lives, but nor will I ever totally trust her. She had a good thing and never even realized it. The boys are totally different. The are in contact with Cruzer all the time. They even talk to him via webcams. They are a delight. Especially the oldest boy is. We have so much in common and are able to talk about so many things in our emails, etc. The other son is the youngest of the three. He loves music and movies and we always talk about them. One of us is always burning a cd to send to the other. But for whatever reason Tracy has decided her father doesn't exist. As much as he says he doesn't care, Cruzer often times will say something like, I wonder if this is why she hates me so. Or - maybe this is why. THat is what I find difficult to deal with. I am as supportive as possible, but I'm not sure it really helps. What would help is if SHE would tell him why she feels the way she does.
I remember the first time I spoke to Tracy on the phone. She said, "I'm sure my dad has told you how awful my mom is." I told her, "No, he hasn't. As a matter of fact, I don't even know her name. He never talks about her at all."That took her back. And it was true. OF course once we were engaged, he told me all about his feelings over their divorce and their lives afterwards. He has never put her down in anyway. About the most he has said in a negative way is he wished she had been strong enough to not listen to her family so much and build their lives for themselves. *Sigh* I doubt if the issue will ever be solved.

Guess I've rambled on enough.
I have my own life and it's impossible for you to know.........
Ang

It's Been A Long, Long Time ........

.............Well, I'm finally back. I know I've been away awhile. I've been having some bad times along with the good and I haven't felt up to writing. I try to stay focused, but it's darn difficult to do while you're hurting.

Yesterday I lost my glasses. I panicked and it wasn't pretty. Here I had fallen asleep with them on while watching TV. Fortunately Cruzer was able to locate them for me. I was so sure they would be mangled when found, but they weren't. I guess that is something to be really grateful for the day.

Why do I volunteer so much? I'm sincere when I do so. But chances are by the time the activity is due, I'll be in pain and not able to complete things on time. No matter how early I start a project, I always seem to be late in getting it done. One of my goals for this year is: Just Do It! Now if I could do just that.

Memorial Day was great. Cruzer made us brats on the grill. The recipe came from Piney and they are delish! I had taken Maxine for a long spin, then we went for a small ride along the river. Then those wonderful brats!

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Piney’s Brats

Now, you can use Johnsonville brats if you can't find Usingers. But Usingers are the VERY BEST brats in the whole wide world!

In a large pot add:2 cans of beerChopped onion (one or two depending on how many brats you’ll be grilling)1 to 2 sticks of real butter (again depending on how many you’ll be grilling) Turn the burner on low, add the brats, and let them soak for a few hours. They'll swell all up and may even split, but that's ok, cuz when you grill them, the skins will split anyway, and they'll baste themselves in the beer brine as they cook. They are ready to eat at this point, but we always grill them to add color.Serve them on warmed hoagie rolls with good mustard (I like Guldens). You can also top your brat with sauerkraut if you want to, or they're really yummy with a few fried apple rings.

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Sadly, it rained in the evening. Yesterday was still humid and during the night it stormed. I mean it really stormed.

I've been a scrapping fool lately. Well, at least for me. I am proud of the last page I made. It was a black and white page. The photo was b&w, too. It is of my niece after she won a pie eating contest. I used water colored pencils to tint small sections of the picture. I thought I had good luck with it.



Just for today, I'll be a star.........
Ang